I: Welcome President Gore. We've made quite a commotion in the world today. Thank you for speaking with us this evening.

G: Thanks for that, I'm sure you be glad to have me explain my thoughts on Global Warming.

I: Yes, we've all read your book and we've all seen your movie. And we've all knocked a few chads about in your honor.

G: Well, yes, you joke, but seriously, I did win that election.

I: Yes, Mr President, we know.

G: May I just start off by saying that the world is about to experience a horrendous wrath at the hands of mother nature. Something more wicked and vile than anything ever witnessed by mankind.

I: Oh boy, you mean more atrocious than World War I or World War II? The holocaust; The Third Punic War; The Caucasian War.

G: Yes, Yes, Yes! Untold millions, billions even.

I: Billions, Sir? Billions?

G: Yes, billions and billions, like the stars in the sky.

I: Why, isn't that nearly half the human population?

G: Is it that many? Wow. It is worse than I thought. And all because we want to drive our gas sucking cars and eat our methane puffing beef. Come on!

I: Well. Well, I must say, this is quite disturbing. How, How exactly will we meet our bitter end, as it were.

G: Floods, floods and fires. Fires and storms. Floods, fires and storms! Nature will turn a just hand against our evil deeds. She will lash out at our greedy and slovenly ways. We've disrespected her. We've failed our planet.

I: My, Oh M, My. When will these floods strike?

G: Oh, soon, my friend. Very soon.

I: Can't we just kind of move back from the sea a bit. Evacuate toward the rear, as they say.

G: No. No! Tidal waves will be crashing down the streets of New York City. Haven't you seen the movie, man. Taxi cabs will be flung spinning toward the camera. But the scary part is, there will no longer be a camera. No one can escape the ire of our planets supreme godness. Our mother.

I: Why, that's dreadful indeed. No city, no cameras. What about iPhones? Will there be iPhones.

G: Actually, my company is about to launch the new iGreen in December. Just in time for Christmas. It is environmentally friendly, with a low carbon footprint and guaranteed to withstand the first two floods or a single fire and quake.

I: Why that's wonderful.

(more later)